I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
