Christians are straight up FREAKS
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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