CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We need to get me chipped asap
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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