Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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