I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
