im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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