Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Oh god it's open bar.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
