She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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