i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Enjoy the penises
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
