Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
