he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My cat gives me a boner
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
