Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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