Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
