kristin has been a bad kristin
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
