Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
