Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
