Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
