Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Drunk is a universal language darling
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