I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
