she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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