i think my mom watched the whole time
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Hippo gnu deer
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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