i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
