a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
