only you would photoshop your dick
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
