Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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