You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
