I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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