What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
