I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
