I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i was born a porn star she said
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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