pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
