how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
