i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The power of my boobs compel you
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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