look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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