I can't breathe out the right side of my face
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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