don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
