It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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