Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
