I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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