Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
