hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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