I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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