just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
