Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
