It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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