she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
