Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I fill condoms, not promises.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
