bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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