oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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