Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
