This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
