So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Randomize
