i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize
